{"id":10454,"date":"2019-05-22T13:48:14","date_gmt":"2019-05-22T21:48:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=10454"},"modified":"2019-05-22T13:48:14","modified_gmt":"2019-05-22T21:48:14","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-19","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-19\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Oddly satisfying: the way Gru from \u201cDespicable Me\u201d says \u201cGorls.\u201d [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Four more weeks… [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] I may have been born in the \u201890s, but my soul is from the Middle Ages (: <3 <3 [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] When you just ate a carrot and you haven\u2019t lost any weight yet, there is something wrong with the system! [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″] Is it okay if I use this as this week\u2019s horoscope? [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] Oooh, the judge is gonna give you a life-sentence because you have been absolutely KILLING IT this week. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] The stars think it was totally reasonable of you to be late to class because you stopped to pet the cat. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] You\u2019re wrong about the moon. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] Life is too short to spend it doubting yourself, Sagittarius. Remember that when you start to question why you\u2019re rewatching \u201cThe Office\u201d for the third time this year. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] The stars see three full-size pizzas that will be consumed solely by you in your future. And by your future, we mean within the next week. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] Fruit Loops are in your future, Aquarius. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″] Best believe that the last time you saw your crush, you had some big old crusty nose gold visible \u2014\u00a0and boy did they notice! With that in mind, HAVE A GREAT WEEK! [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Oddly satisfying: the way Gru from \u201cDespicable Me\u201d says \u201cGorls.\u201d [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Four more weeks… [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] I may have been born in the \u201890s, but my soul is from the Middle Ages (: <3 <3 [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] When you just ate […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9932,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10454"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10454\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}