{"id":11306,"date":"2019-11-12T16:30:37","date_gmt":"2019-11-13T00:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=11306"},"modified":"2019-11-12T16:30:37","modified_gmt":"2019-11-13T00:30:37","slug":"campus-conspiracy-theories","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/campus-conspiracy-theories\/","title":{"rendered":"Campus Conspiracy Theories"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Portal<\/strong><\/p>\n

OK, hear me out. WHAT IF the art students are all in a cult? WHAT IF all the art on campus is strategically placed as part of a ritual to summon Cthulhu? WHAT IF those ridiculously flamboyant electric purple flowers outside of the Triple D–k (Ed) building are actually the beginning of the portal opening? WHAT IF\u2026 it\u2019s already too late?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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Robots Among Us<\/strong><\/p>\n

They\u2019re all over campus, impossible to miss. They seem harmless enough, innocent, perhaps even cute enough to feed. Don\u2019t be mistaken, those fluffy little squirrels on campus are most likely animatronics planted by the university. I\u2019m not saying that it\u2019s 100% a fact, but think about it: it kind of makes sense.<\/span><\/p>\n

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The Wolf in the Walls<\/strong><\/p>\n

On Columbus Day of 1962, a major storm hit campus and knocked down the bell tower that was once on Campbell Hall, Western\u2019s oldest building. It was too expensive to repair, so where there used to be doors, there is a now a bricked-in outline of the door frames. So my theory \u2014 the spirits of all the Wolfies (previously known as Waldo\u2019s) of Western\u2019s past live in those rebuilt walls \u2026 watching. Waiting. For what? Who knows.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

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It\u2019s Below the Leaves<\/strong><\/p>\n

During the seasonal change from fall to winter, a mysterious occurrence takes over the Western campus. The leaves fall rapidly, covering the ground below us making sure to cover up the mystery \u2014 our gardening staff work hard to try and uncover this everyday, but are never on time and it has moved. This mystery has been known to grab ankles, cause students and staff to trip, given cars flat tires and even snagged squirrels rummaging for food. There have been few accounts of where this mysterious thing has been seen, but those people are long gone, stuck in the old buildings of the Western campus to haunt and scare…<\/span><\/p>\n

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Illustrated by Rachel Hetzel<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Portal OK, hear me out. WHAT IF the art students are all in a cult? WHAT IF all the art on campus is strategically placed as part of a ritual to summon Cthulhu? WHAT IF those ridiculously flamboyant electric purple flowers outside of the Triple D–k (Ed) building are actually the beginning of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":11247,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11306","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11306","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11306"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11306\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11306"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11306"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11306"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}