{"id":16731,"date":"2020-12-03T19:29:09","date_gmt":"2020-12-04T03:29:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=16731"},"modified":"2020-12-03T21:35:39","modified_gmt":"2020-12-04T05:35:39","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-42","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-42\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

The Western Howl Staff<\/strong><\/p>\n

Aries 3\/21-4\/19\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m giving you a coupon to shut up\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taurus 4\/20-5\/20<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh look it\u2019s a mug that says C–t and the C is the handle. I thought it matched your personality.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gemini 5\/21-6\/20\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Unlock your next gift with a healthy donation of $30\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cancer 6\/21-7\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

I know you hate cheeseburgers, so I got you a cheeseburger without the cheese.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Leo 7\/23-8\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

No, I didn\u2019t get you anything. Did I get you???<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Virgo 8\/23-9\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

One (1) free pass to your local occult meeting<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Libra 9\/23-10\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

A stapler and loose staples placed inside neon jello. Useful and delicious!\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

enjoy my half-drunk peppermint mocha \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s that? You don\u2019t want this gag ball?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19<\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t afford a gift this year, so I got you this box<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Aquarius 1\/20 – 2\/18<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s sudoku toilet paper! Figured you needed something to do while you\u2019re in there for an hour<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pisces 2\/19 – 3\/20<\/span><\/p>\n

I hope you enjoy this personalized notebook with a 2-page note I wrote for you and this scrap book and this mug and\u2026 <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Western Howl Staff<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":16220,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[176,175],"class_list":["post-16731","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","tag-horoscopes","tag-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16731","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16731"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16731\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16220"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16731"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16731"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16731"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}