{"id":20615,"date":"2024-02-13T17:54:26","date_gmt":"2024-02-14T01:54:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=20615"},"modified":"2024-02-13T17:54:59","modified_gmt":"2024-02-14T01:54:59","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The signs walk into a bar&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aries: orders a shirley temple\u2026 extra cherries<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Taurus: Immediately turns around because the bartender is cute<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Gemini: tries to charm the bartender for free drinks (and fails)<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Cancer: sees a man and walks out\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Leo: is this the punch line?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Virgo: Walks right back out<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Libra: wonders which of the people they should stare at the whole night<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Scorpio: \u201c&#8230;ouch.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Sagittarius: If they play Taylor Swift I\u2019m going to throw hands and drinks<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Capricorn: drunk crying in the bathroom all night<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Aquarius: avoids eye contact with everyone<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400\">Pisces: Home! Sweet Home!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9316,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20615","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20615"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20615\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9316"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20615"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20615"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20615"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}