{"id":21391,"date":"2024-10-15T14:35:05","date_gmt":"2024-10-15T22:35:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=21391"},"modified":"2024-10-15T14:35:55","modified_gmt":"2024-10-15T22:35:55","slug":"this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-entirely-made-up-horoscopes-6\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in entirely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The Signs in a horror movie:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aries: Decides to argue with the killer instead of trying to escape<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Taurus: Dies while leaving their hiding spot to find a snack<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Gemini: killed mid-yap<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Cancer: frat bro who dresses up as the killer to scare people<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leo: Sacrifices friend to save themself<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Virgo: survives, but at what cost?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Libra: The geek that thinks they&#8217;re smarter than everyone&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Scorpio: Befriends the killer<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sagittarius: The dumb cheerleader that dies first<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Capricorn: The real killer<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Aquarius: Survives by making a flamethrower out of perfume and a lighter<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Pisces: The supposed killer&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Signs in a horror movie: Aries: Decides to argue with the killer instead of trying to escape Taurus: Dies while leaving their hiding spot to find a snack Gemini: killed mid-yap Cancer: frat bro who dresses up as the killer to scare people Leo: Sacrifices friend to save themself Virgo: survives, but at what [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21391","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21391"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21391\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21392,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21391\/revisions\/21392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21391"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21391"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21391"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}