April Fools Day Issue<\/p>\n
This week in completely made up horoscopes
\nGrab a glass of water, these fortunes are extra salty this week<\/p>\n
Aries 3\/21-4\/19<\/p>\n
I met an Aries last Monday that really pissed me off, so I\u2019m withholding your prediction for this week.<\/p>\n
Taurus 4\/20-5\/20<\/p>\n
Go look up a picture of a baby hippo, then get back to me.<\/p>\n
Gemini 5\/21-6\/20<\/p>\n
Gemini, if you were wondering whether or not to post that snapchat to your story\u2014don\u2019t. Do us all a favor and don\u2019t. Also, you share a sign with Donald Trump, so\u2026.<\/p>\n
Cancer 6\/21-7\/22<\/p>\n
You will see a dog on your way to work today.<\/p>\n
Leo 7\/23-8\/22<\/p>\n
Leo, you share a name with the glorious Leonardo DiCaprio. Do you really need more fortune than that? Stop being selfish.<\/p>\n
Virgo 8\/23-9\/22<\/p>\n
Okay, Virgo, time to hit you with the real. Honestly, this is the last horoscope that I\u2019m writing, and I\u2019ve completely run out of ideas, so I\u2019m just not gonna write one.<\/p>\n
Libra 9\/23-10\/22<\/p>\n
You left your oven on.<\/p>\n
Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21<\/p>\n
Take a deep breath and relax, Scorpio. Your favorite TV show is not getting cancelled. Although if it were my choice it would be.<\/p>\n
Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21<\/p>\n
Can you not?<\/p>\n
Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19<\/p>\n
Name the baby Ricky.<\/p>\n
Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18<\/p>\n
Remember that really embarrassing thing you did last week, Aquarius? Yeah, I do too.<\/p>\n
Pisces 2\/19-3\/20<\/p>\n
Pisces, you thought you looked good when you left the house this morning, well you did. Stay beautiful, gorgeous!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
April Fools Day Issue This week in completely made up horoscopes Grab a glass of water, these fortunes are extra salty this week Aries 3\/21-4\/19 I met an Aries last Monday that really pissed me off, so I\u2019m withholding your prediction for this week. Taurus 4\/20-5\/20 Go look up a picture of a baby hippo, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1652,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"no","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"saragerrick","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3292","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1652"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3292"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3292\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25394,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3292\/revisions\/25394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3292"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3292"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}