Aries 3\/21-4\/19
\nAries, the tattoo you just got on your left leg is spelled wrong. Check it, double check it, and show it to a friend over 30. I\u2019m totally right.<\/p>\n
Taurus 4\/20-5\/20
\nYour astrological sign has now been changed to Libra. Please refer to the horoscope below.<\/p>\n
Gemini 5\/21-6\/20
\nHop on the fourth bus headed to Dallas on May 3 at the stop right in front of the WUC. Proceed to the left side of the aisle and sit seven rows back. Look under the seat for your next instructions.<\/p>\n
Cancer 6\/21-7\/22
\nSpill the tea, Cancer. I want to hear all the juicy details about your encounter with the campus dreamboat.<\/p>\n
Leo 7\/23-8\/22
\nYou\u2019re lookin\u2019 like a flavor blasted, xtra cheddar Goldfish cracker this morning, Leo. Use this to your advantage.<\/p>\n
Virgo 8\/23-9\/22
\nYou will be delivered one of those glorious sushi burritos tomorrow by a close friend.<\/p>\n
Libra 9\/23-10\/22
\nYou\u2019ll wake up in a tub of vegan marshmallow cream tomorrow, Libra. What does this mean? Is it a euphemism? Is it the hot new slang the teens are saying? Just embrace it.<\/p>\n
Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21
\nWhen you hear the song \u201cMilkshake\u201d by Kelis playing within the next week, jump far to your right. You will narrowly miss getting hit by a ceiling tile. You\u2019re welcome.<\/p>\n
Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21
\nJava Crew\u2019s blended chai lattes are straight crack. Is this a horoscope? No, but I needed a place to post this statement.<\/p>\n
Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19
\nIf you promise to name your baby after me, I\u2019ll give you a really good, non-pregnancy related horoscope next week, Capricorn.<\/p>\n
Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18
\nUnironic plaid.<\/p>\n
Pisces 2\/19-3\/20
\nJohn Stamos is the man who has been following you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Aries 3\/21-4\/19 Aries, the tattoo you just got on your left leg is spelled wrong. Check it, double check it, and show it to a friend over 30. I\u2019m totally right. Taurus 4\/20-5\/20 Your astrological sign has now been changed to Libra. Please refer to the horoscope below. Gemini 5\/21-6\/20 Hop on the fourth bus […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":825,"featured_media":3002,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/825"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3670\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}