{"id":3746,"date":"2016-05-09T15:15:19","date_gmt":"2016-05-09T23:15:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernjournal\/?p=3746"},"modified":"2016-05-09T16:40:11","modified_gmt":"2016-05-10T00:40:11","slug":"ted-cruz-allegedly-seen-picking-newly-dry-cleaned-zodiac-killer-costume","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/ted-cruz-allegedly-seen-picking-newly-dry-cleaned-zodiac-killer-costume\/","title":{"rendered":"Ted Cruz allegedly seen picking up newly dry cleaned Zodiac Killer costume"},"content":{"rendered":"
By: Katrina Penaflor\r\nManaging Editor<\/pre>\n
In a mom-and-pop dry cleaners in Dallas, Texas, it has been reported\u2014and I use the term reported very loosely\u2014that a man looking oddly similar to Ted Cruz was seen picking up some sort of Zodiac Killer-esque costume on May 5.<\/p>\n
The costume, which may or may not be just an oversized black hoodie, was washed by an employee named Robin.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was given very specific directions by the man who placed the order to not remove the Cruz 2016 button from the garment. I tried to tell the man it would affect the cleaning, and that Cruz had recently ended his campaign, but he said, \u2018leave it on, dammit,\u2019\u201d Robin said.<\/p>\n
Robin was unfortunately unable to identify the man beyond saying he had brown hair. When asked what name was left on the order form, Robin showed a copy and under \u201cname\u201d it read \u201cnoT the ZoDiaC KiLleR.\u201d<\/p>\n
The second eyewitness, who wishes to be unnamed for obvious reasons, said Cruz entered the dry cleaner wearing a white button down shirt that definitely needed to be tailored, and when he exited the establishment he had the black cloak on and was wearing black framed glasses.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s when I knew it was the Zodiac Killer,\u201d he said. \u201cI also saw him get in a gold minivan that was driven by a blonde woman in a pink pant suit. She even got out of the car and yelled at him to hurry up.\u201d<\/p>\n
Another Cruz spotting, which can definitely not be confirmed because I overheard two teenage boys talking about it while I waited in line at McDonald’s, said Cruz was also seen earlier that morning at a nearby Party City.<\/p>\n
He allegedly asked an employee where their costume selection was, and quickly grew furious when he discovered they had sold out of their adult size large Zodiac Killer costumes.<\/p>\n
He left the store in a rage, accidently punching and elbowing multiple employees and shoppers in the face on his way out.<\/p>\n
Contact the author at journalmanaging@wou.edu or on Twitter @JournalKatrina<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In a mom-and-pop dry cleaners in Dallas, Texas, it has been reported\u2014and I use the term reported very loosely\u2014that a man looking oddly similar to Ted Cruz was seen picking up some sort of Zodiac Killer-esque costume on May 5.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":825,"featured_media":3002,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3746","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3746","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/825"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3746"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3746\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3002"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3746"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3746"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3746"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}