\nYou will be the proud owner of five Taco Bells, Aries.
![\"Screen](\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernjournal\/files\/2016\/05\/Screen-Shot-2016-05-09-at-4.14.23-PM.png\")
Why not six? Nobody ever said you were an overachiever.<\/p>\nI\u2019m here to predict the future for all you graduating students. And for those of you who aren\u2019t graduating, please reference back to this in the six or so years it will take you to complete your undergrad.<\/p>\n
Aries 3\/21-4\/19
\nYou will be the proud owner of five Taco Bells, Aries. Why not six? Nobody ever said you were an overachiever.<\/p>\n
Taurus 4\/20-5\/20
\nEvery day for the rest of your life you will consume 11 Choco Taco\u2019s. This has nothing to do with what you will be doing for work, but I just wanted to let you know that you will be living the exact life you always dreamed of.<\/p>\n
Gemini 5\/21-6\/20
\nI checked with the stars and not one single Gemini is graduating. There aren\u2019t even any Gemini that go to this school. So if you\u2019re reading this, \u201cGemini,\u201d you\u2019re a faker, and you\u2019re tacky and I hate you.<\/p>\n
Cancer 6\/21-7\/22
\nDid you know that it\u2019s actually someone\u2019s job to test video games? Wouldn\u2019t that be the dream, Cancer? Well, that\u2019s not going to be your job. Sorry.<\/p>\n
Leo 7\/23-8\/22
\nI\u2019m looking way into the future for you, Leo, like ten years\u2019 time. What\u2019s to come? Well, hmm, how do I break the news to you? You\u2019ll be in jail. Yup, that\u2019s probably the only way I can say that sentence.<\/p>\n
Virgo 8\/23-9\/22
\nVirgo, you will get into law school. Congrats. Will you get a job after that? I don\u2019t know, do you think I know everything?<\/p>\n
Libra 9\/23-10\/22
\nSomewhere between your vegan Kashi binge and your hunt for the perfect partner for your hairless cat, you\u2019ll stumble into a trendy start up and they\u2019ll offer you a job.<\/p>\n
Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21
\nNovember 1, 2031, and I\u2019m not telling you what this date means, but I will tell you that it involves some juicy news.<\/p>\n
Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21
\nWell, Sagittarius, I see you entering a job that I am completely jealous of. Is it an movie star? A CEO? Nope, nope. You\u2019ll be involved in testing new brands of wine. You don\u2019t even have to do anything besides drink it and say if it\u2019s good or not.<\/p>\n
Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19
\nYou will rise up and become president of all the Salt Queens and all the Trash kids of this fine world.<\/p>\n
Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18
\nYou forgot about a course. Totally not graduating.<\/p>\n
Pisces 2\/19-3\/20
\nYou will be graced with the job of wiping the sweat off of Chris Hemsworth\u2019s face in between takes of him filming the next \u201cThor\u201d or \u201cAvengers\u201d or whatever those movies are that he does.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m here to predict the future for all you graduating students. And for those of you who aren\u2019t graduating, please reference back to this in the six or so years it will take you to complete your undergrad. Aries 3\/21-4\/19 You will be the proud owner of five Taco Bells, Aries. Why not six? Nobody […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":825,"featured_media":3787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3918","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3918","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/825"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3918"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3918\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3918"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3918"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3918"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}