\nThis week is looking grim, Aries. For some unknown reason, all of your meal plan points are
![\"Screen](\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernjournal\/files\/2016\/05\/Screen-Shot-2016-05-09-at-4.14.23-PM-201x300.png\")
about to disappear. The stars are showing me piles and piles of ramen in your future.<\/p>\nThis week in completely made up horoscopes
\nCompiled by Zoe Strickland<\/p>\n
Aries 3\/21-4\/19
\nThis week is looking grim, Aries. For some unknown reason, all of your meal plan points are about to disappear. The stars are showing me piles and piles of ramen in your future.<\/p>\n
Taurus 4\/20-5\/20
\nI have a haunting suspicion that you’ll be getting mail from financial aid this week.<\/p>\n
Gemini 5\/21-6\/20
\nThis is a great week to watch musicals. Let the songs of \u201cHamilton\u201d narrate your life, Gemini.<\/p>\n
Cancer 6\/21-7\/22
\nThis week something will happen in your life, Cancer. Sadly, I can\u2019t tell you what. I\u2019ve promised the stars.<\/p>\n
Leo 7\/23-8\/22
\nIt\u2019s only the second week of school, but I can feel that you\u2019re stressed. To curb your anxiety, get a group of friends together and watch \u201cTitanic\u201d.<\/p>\n
Virgo 8\/23-9\/22
\nDo yourself a favor, Virgo. Go to Google and search for images of a \u2018blobfish\u2019. You\u2019ll thank me.<\/p>\n
Libra 9\/23-10\/22
\nCelebrate! If you have a birthday this week, you will soon be the proud owner of a Razor scooter.<\/p>\n
Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21
\nI\u2019ve heard that Scorpio\u2019s are obsessive, but I\u2019m here to tell you that the world is wrong. Checking your phone every 10 seconds to see if someone has texted you is definitely not obsessive. You\u2019re just passionate.<\/p>\n
Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21
\nIn 30 years, you will be the heartthrob of the PTA.<\/p>\n
Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19
\nThe stars don\u2019t have to tell me that you\u2019re dreading Christmas, Capricorn. This week I\u2019m encouraging you to embrace the peppermint.<\/p>\n
Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18
\nJust remember Aquarius, there are plenty of fish in the sea.<\/p>\n
Pisces 2\/19-3\/20
\nThis is your week, Pisces. You will finally be able to fit your hand into that Pringles can.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This week in completely made up horoscopes Compiled by Zoe Strickland Aries 3\/21-4\/19 This week is looking grim, Aries. For some unknown reason, all of your meal plan points are about to disappear. The stars are showing me piles and piles of ramen in your future. Taurus 4\/20-5\/20 I have a haunting suspicion that you’ll […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":937,"featured_media":3787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/937"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4062"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4062\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}