{"id":4146,"date":"2016-10-12T08:00:46","date_gmt":"2016-10-12T16:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernjournal\/?p=4146"},"modified":"2016-10-11T17:04:44","modified_gmt":"2016-10-12T01:04:44","slug":"week-completely-made-horoscopes-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/week-completely-made-horoscopes-3\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre>By: Stephanie Blair, Ashton Newton and Zoe Strickland<\/pre>\n<p>Aries 3\/21-4\/19<br \/>\nKeep that pepper spray close, Aries. If you go back through your Snapchat story, you\u2019ll notice that a clown has been following you around campus.<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernjournal\/files\/2016\/05\/Screen-Shot-2016-05-09-at-4.14.23-PM-201x300.png\" alt=\"Screen Shot 2016-05-09 at 4.14.23 PM\" width=\"243\" height=\"363\" class=\" wp-image-3787 alignright\" srcset=\"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/files\/2016\/05\/Screen-Shot-2016-05-09-at-4.14.23-PM-201x300.png 201w, https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/files\/2016\/05\/Screen-Shot-2016-05-09-at-4.14.23-PM.png 316w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 243px) 100vw, 243px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Taurus 4\/20-5\/20<br \/>\nDon\u2019t get coffee this week, Taurus. I know you love it, but it doesn\u2019t love you. It\u2019s time to let your addiction go.<\/p>\n<p>Gemini 5\/21-6\/20<br \/>\nYour lost twin is out there somewhere, Gemini. Just keep on singing your half of the Disney duet.<\/p>\n<p>Cancer 6\/21-7\/22<br \/>\nThis week, 50 Spongebob meme blogs will follow you on Tumblr. Are ya\u2019 feelin\u2019 it now, Mr. Crabs?<\/p>\n<p>Leo 7\/23-8\/22<br \/>\nBe suspicious of everyone, Leo. There\u2019s a 75 percent chance that the Libras in your life are lying to you.<\/p>\n<p>Virgo 8\/23-9\/22<br \/>\nHave seen \u201cHocus Pocus\u201d? Don\u2019t light that black flame candle, you virgi- I mean, Virgo.<\/p>\n<p>Libra 9\/23-10\/22<br \/>\nI know you love Halloween, Libra. Chin up, there\u2019s only 19 days until the best holiday of the year.<\/p>\n<p>Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21<br \/>\nYou might as well throw out your birthday list, Scorpio. No one is going to buy you anything off of it anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21<br \/>\nIt\u2019s your world, Sagittarius. Let the \u201cHappy Little Cloud\u201d remix guide your week.<\/p>\n<p>Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19<br \/>\nOn Friday, your eyeliner will look great. But as soon as you leave your house, it will smudge and you won\u2019t know for the entire day. Racoon eyes for life.<\/p>\n<p>Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18<br \/>\nI\u2019ll keep your secret, Aquarius. Nobody has to know that your favorite band is Phish.<\/p>\n<p>Pisces 2\/19-3\/20<br \/>\nSorry to break it to you, Pisces, but this is definitely all a dream. It\u2019s not a good one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Stephanie Blair, Ashton Newton and Zoe Strickland Aries 3\/21-4\/19 Keep that pepper spray close, Aries. If you go back through your Snapchat story, you\u2019ll notice that a clown has been following you around campus. Taurus 4\/20-5\/20 Don\u2019t get coffee this week, Taurus. I know you love it, but it doesn\u2019t love you. It\u2019s time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":937,"featured_media":3787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4146","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4146","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/937"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4146"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4146\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4146"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4146"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4146"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}