{"id":5493,"date":"2017-03-26T21:17:52","date_gmt":"2017-03-27T05:17:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernjournal\/?p=5493"},"modified":"2017-03-26T21:17:52","modified_gmt":"2017-03-27T05:17:52","slug":"week-completely-made-horoscopes-9","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/week-completely-made-horoscopes-9\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

Aries 3\/21-4\/19 <\/span><\/p>\n

Time to start spamming social media about how hard your one online final is going to be. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Taurus 4\/20-5\/20<\/span><\/p>\n

Remember to renew your Amazon Prime membership, Taurus. Otherwise you\u2019ll be looking at overdraft fees and will have no one to blame except yourself. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Gemini 5\/21-6\/20<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s dead week. I don\u2019t think you need me to tell you it\u2019s not going to be fun. <\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Cancer 6\/21-7\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Leo 7\/23-8\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

Cool it with the calzones, Leo. Just eat pizza like an American.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Virgo 8\/23-9\/22 <\/span><\/p>\n

The stars know what you\u2019re thinking, Virgo, but quitting school to escape finals will only be a temporary relief. Keep on fighting that good fight.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Libra 9\/23-10\/22<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21 <\/span><\/p>\n

You discover you have a new talent this week. Congratulations! But the heat in your veins suggests this is more than a simple parlor trick.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19<\/span><\/p>\n

If you watch too many sad shows on Netflix this week, chances are you\u2019ll be wrist-deep in a pint of ice cream by finals.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18<\/span><\/p>\n

Take some time off over break and hit the waves. The water will help relieve your stress.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Pisces 2\/19-3\/20<\/span><\/p>\n

Start the upcoming term fresh; move around your furniture and soak up the febreze-laced clouds of spring. <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aries 3\/21-4\/19 Time to start spamming social media about how hard your one online final is going to be.   Taurus 4\/20-5\/20 Remember to renew your Amazon Prime membership, Taurus. Otherwise you\u2019ll be looking at overdraft fees and will have no one to blame except yourself. \u00a0   Gemini 5\/21-6\/20 It\u2019s dead week. I don\u2019t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":937,"featured_media":3787,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":null,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/937"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5493"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5493\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3787"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}