{"id":8998,"date":"2018-12-04T00:55:19","date_gmt":"2018-12-04T08:55:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=8998"},"modified":"2018-12-04T00:55:19","modified_gmt":"2018-12-04T08:55:19","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-5\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]
\n[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] It\u2019s time to put the leftovers down and do the twenty assignments you put off and said you would do during Thanksgiving break<\/span>.<\/span> [\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Taurus, you were supposed to buy some Christmas gifts for family and friends on Black Friday, not just gifts for yourself.<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] The stars are studying for finals, don\u2019t bother us!<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] Post-dinner thought: What if in an alternate universe turkeys hunt and overeat us once a year in the name of the holidays??? <\/span>[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″] Memory foam pillows are the best\u2026 weapons to use in a pillow fight.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] Nothin\u2019 quite gets you ready and pumped for your final like sitting down in soaking wet shoes and drenched hair from the rain. Better pack that extra pair of socks (preferably the ones with doggos on them, the stars think those are fun).<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] \u2018Tis the season to go broke if you want to get presents for everyone on time, Libra. Or don\u2019t. Choose wisely.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] Deleting your old Instagram photos doesn\u2019t count as self care, Scorpio. Stop making things up.<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] It\u2019s your season, Sagittarius! Make the most of it. Channel that powerful celestial energy into your unreasonably long papers that are almost due.<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] Make sure to triple check your double check on what time and day your finals are, Capricorn.<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] Yes Aquarius, we saw you write a \u201ctotally unique\u201d poem to your girlfriend on Christmas that also spells out SEND NOODS in the first letter of each line. I did it last year…and the year before that.<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″] IT\u2019S ALMOST YOUR TIME, PISCES. TIME TO PREP YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH. BUT LET\u2019S NOT MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN, IT WAS A BAD LOOK.<\/span>\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]
\n[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] It\u2019s time to put the leftovers down and do the twenty assignments you put off and said you would do during Thanksgiving break. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Taurus, you were supposed to buy some Christmas gifts for family and friends on Black Friday, not just gifts for yourself.\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab] […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9000,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8998","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8998","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8998"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8998\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8998"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8998"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8998"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}