{"id":9057,"date":"2019-01-09T20:57:09","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T04:57:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=9057"},"modified":"2019-01-09T20:57:09","modified_gmt":"2019-01-10T04:57:09","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-7\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Christmas sweaters are so last year, Aries. It\u2019s time to put the sweaters away. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Hey Taurus, lets just pretend 2018 never happened. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] Look, Gemini. We tell you your horoscope EVERY WEEK. And what do we get in return? Literally not even so much as a THANK YOU CARD? 2019 is the year of reciprocity. Maybe think about giving back to the stars who devote so much time to you… [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] Set your alarm clock one hour before you have to get up, we know it will take you that long to decide it\u2019s worth it. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″] NOOOOOooOOOOooooOooOOOoOOOoo0oooo.\u00a0[\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] The stars suggest you make your resolution include something about actually attending class this year. Or nah. You do you. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] The stars have a resolution for you, Libra: try actually listening to us this year. Not that you\u2019ll stick to it. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] The stars almost forgot to submit your horoscope this week, Scorpio. Big mood, right? [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] New year, new term, new you, right? Wrong! You know you\u2019re still the same stone cold fox you always have been, Sagittarius. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] School\u2019s back. Time to learn how to read and write again, Capricorn. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] New Year’s resolutions are a nice way to fix regrettable decisions made on New Year\u2019s Eve. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″] I know all that small talk over the holidays killed your soul but get ready, there\u2019s more! New classes love small talk and small talk loves to crush your soul. Enjoy <3 [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] Christmas sweaters are so last year, Aries. It\u2019s time to put the sweaters away. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] Hey Taurus, lets just pretend 2018 never happened. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] Look, Gemini. We tell you your horoscope EVERY WEEK. And what do we get in return? Literally not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9000,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9057","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9057"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9057\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9057"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9057"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9057"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}