{"id":9130,"date":"2019-01-17T00:00:34","date_gmt":"2019-01-17T08:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wou.edu\/westernhowl\/?p=9130"},"modified":"2019-01-17T00:00:34","modified_gmt":"2019-01-17T08:00:34","slug":"this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/this-week-in-completely-made-up-horoscopes-8\/","title":{"rendered":"This week in completely made up horoscopes"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] The perfect horoscope doesn\u2019t exi-… oh wait, Sagittarius knows what\u2019s up. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] We are but specks of dust to the universe. Live life inconsequentially. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] The stars watched as you did homework for a full two minutes, opened a new tab, and started looking for hotels and flights for a spontaneous vacay. Stay focused, Gemini. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Cancer 6\/21-7\/22″] -_- < \ud83d\ude00 [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Leo 7\/23-8\/22″]\u00a0Treat yourself! Go make yourself some skillet potatoes. You will never regret it. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Virgo 8\/23-9\/22″] Don\u2019t forget to eat breakfast. Otherwise you\u2019re gonna be that one kid whose stomach rumbles really loudly in class and you\u2019ll play it off really awkwardly like, \u201cwhat was that noise??\u201d but in reality we literally all heard it come from your stomach, Virgo. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Libra 9\/23-10\/22″] Don\u2019t look at the stars like that, Libra. We didn\u2019t tell you to start your essay at 11 p.m. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Scorpio 10\/23-11\/21″] You\u2019re already procrastinating on your homework, Scorpio? You really are on another level. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Sagittarius 11\/22-12\/21″] The stars demand<\/i> that you get more than five hours of sleep this week. But this is definitely one of those \u201cdo as we say, not as we do\u201d moments… [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Capricorn 12\/22-1\/19″] Remember that movie \u201cSurf\u2019s Up\u201d with all those penguin surfers? Me neither. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Aquarius 1\/20-2\/18″] Way to keep up with all your work this first week Aquarius! Now you only have 10 mo\u2014 wait, where are you going? Aquarius?! [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[fruitful_tab title=”Pisces 2\/19-3\/20″] Just because there is a free big gulp behind 7-Eleven doesn\u2019t mean you should take it, Pisces. [\/fruitful_tab]<\/span><\/p>\n

[\/fruitful_tabs]<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[fruitful_tabs type=”accordion” width=”100%” fit=”false”] [fruitful_tab title=”Aries 3\/21-4\/19″] The perfect horoscope doesn\u2019t exi-… oh wait, Sagittarius knows what\u2019s up. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Taurus 4\/20-5\/20″] We are but specks of dust to the universe. Live life inconsequentially. [\/fruitful_tab] [fruitful_tab title=”Gemini 5\/21-6\/20″] The stars watched as you did homework for a full two minutes, opened a new tab, and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1094,"featured_media":9000,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor"],"modified_by":"The Western Howl","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1094"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9130\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9000"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wou.edu\/westernhowl\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}